


Thieves' Law

by Eon_Quill (Era_Penn)



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: And Failing, Angst, Dating, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn, Kaito is a mess, Laws, M/M, Magic, Pining, Stealing, Theft, implied suicidal thoughts, kaito wants to find pandora already, minor depression, sap, so much sap, thief Law, trying not to fall in love, very mild though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7738705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Era_Penn/pseuds/Eon_Quill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thieves’ code, Kaito has learned, is very simple. There are three rules. Rule one: Don’t get caught. Rule two: Don’t talk. There are many subtle nuances, depending on skill level, what is being talked about, and who the conversing parties are, but the bottom line is: don’t tell the law anything that will get a thief caught, identified, or into trouble. Rule three - and this one’s the most important - don’t steal anything that can’t be returned.</p><p>Only amateurs break Thieves’ Laws, and Kaito is no amateur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rule One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rachello344](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachello344/gifts).



**Rule one: Don’t get Caught**

Kaito smirked, holding the Silver Seas Diamond up to the moon. Another heist, another victory. Another. _Fucking_. _**Failure**_. His smirk doesn’t waver as he tucks the diamond into his pocket. He stands easily on the thin ledge overlooking the city. The thieving is necessary, and for views like this, maybe even worth it.

The hair on the back of his neck stood up, and Kaito laughed, ignoring the tiny slip of bitterness creeping into it. “Not going to say hello?” he asked. He didn’t much who was there, just then. If it was Snake, Kaito would just jump.

“Are you okay?”

Kaito laughed again. “But of course, Meitantei-kun,” he said, and turned easily, refusing to acknowledge the sixty-five story drop just behind him.

Kudo Shinichi met his gaze steadily, and Kaito very carefully didn’t look away or tense. “You were ignoring the ground with a bit too much fervor for my taste.”

“It’s a lovely night and a gorgeous view.” Kaito pulled the gem from his pocket, tossing it casually in the air. “A lovely night for a lovely gem.” He threw it across the roof, but Kudo’s eyes were widening on something behind him even as he fumbled the gem. Kaito was already reacting by the time he heard the gasped “ _Kid_ -”

The bullet flew over his head as Kaito rolled and settled behind the railing. “My, my,” he hummed. “Seems the crows are getting antsy~!”

“What the hell, Kid?” Kudo hissed from where he had rolled to take cover next to Kaito, diamond clutched in one fist.

Kaito patted down his jacket. Where did he put that… AHA! He slipped the earpiece into one ear. “Hi~” he greeted cheerfully. “We’ve found some crows to play with!”

“Only you would be happy about that, you maniac,” a dry British voice replied. “Do I _want_ to know how you got a police earbud?”

“Tantei-san, you wound me! It’s like you think I stole it or something!”

“I despise you.”

Kaito beamed. “Don’t be like that! Meitantei-kun might take it personally!”

Finally regaining his senses, Kudo practically snarled as he stole the earbud. “You damn -”

“The situation, Kudo-san?”

“At least three people on top of the building just north of us; one shooter so far, no injured.”

Kaito scoffed. Duh. Like he’d let them get a good shot in.

Kudo hit him, and Kaito snickered.

“Do you care about your own life at all?!” Kudo snapped suddenly, seizing Kaito’s upper arm in a vice-like grip.

Kaito actually gaped for a full second before he caught himself and fixed his poker face. That hit… wasn’t quite right, but also kind of wasn’t quite wrong.

Kudo’s eyes narrowed. _Shit_ , Kaito thought, _say something, quick_ \- “Why, meitantei! Buy a thief a drink first!” He fluttered his eyelashes. Kudo flushed a bit, but didn’t look away. If anything, he looked more suspicious than he did in the first place.

...And distractingly attractive. The blush high on his cheeks and the breeze whispering through his hair made him look alive, the thin glow of his skin in the moonlight reminding Kaito of a cheesy scene from a shoujo manga. Wait. No, bad kaitou, focus.

Kaito glanced at Shinichi’s eyes, pretty and - damn.

Filching his (stolen) earbud back easily, Kaito saluted. “See you later, Meitantei-kun!” he said, and backflipped off the edge of the building. There hadn’t been any shot for a while; by now the Crows would be long gone, out of the police’s grasp once again.

Kaito hummed and opened his glider, easily slicing through the air. He picked off the two trackers Kudo had set and tossed them aside. With luck, they would land on two moving items going in opposite directions.

Kaito dreamily considered the frustration on Kudo’s face when he realized Kaito had foiled him yet again.

_Wait… Dreamily?!_

Kaito nearly fell out of the sky.

He was NOT in love. Nope. Was not. In love. Not in love, especially not with a detective. A precocious, brilliant, snarky, dangerous, challenging, attractive detective _trying to arrest him_.

Kaito groaned as he touched down and changed, ready to head for home. Who was he kidding, he was well and truly caught. If Kudo Shinichi sincerely asked him to turn himself in, Kaito actually might!

At least his detective had no idea - no one did.

And Kaito would never tell.


	2. Rule Two

**Rule Two: Don’t Talk**

Kaito breathed in the scent of his triple-caramel-irish-cream-white-mocha-steamer and sank into the booth where he sat with a sigh of delight. After two weeks full of awkward pining and definitely not stalking, it was nice to sit down, not think of Shi- Kudo, and drink his favorite comfort drink.

His chest ached. Yeah, he definitely, absolutely wasn’t dwelling on the curl of Shi- Kudo’s lashes against his cheeks, or the way his eyes lit up with fire when he encountered a good challenge, or the skills Shi- Kudo had displayed with a soccer ball when he was still Conan, or the way he had picked up that kitten in the rain the other day and adopted it, because Shi- Kudo was so nice…

To non-criminals.

 _Dammit_.

 _No,_ Kaito thought, _bad Kaito. You are a no-good thief with no good points behind your poker face, and he is a detective with lots and lots of good points, not to mention a bright future imprisoning murderers and thieves. You can’t even catch Snake! One person!_ Kaito’s chest ached and he focused on his own relative uselessness compared to Shi- Kudo’s. Fastest way to get over this, because he’d been _caught_ and that was bad!

“Sorry - but - you seem familiar. Have we met before?”

Kaito looked up and _holy hell_ Shin- Kudo’s swirling blue eyes met his.

“I don’t think so,” Kaito said, “though we do look a lot alike.” _Except you’re way, way prettier._

Shi… _Kudo_ hmm’d in agreement, sliding into the booth across from Kaito. The magician made a valiant attempt not to blush when their knees bumped, not entirely sure he was successful.

_Don’t talk don’t talk don’t talk -_

“So… Hi. I’m Kuroba Kaito.” _Dammit._

“Kudo Shinichi.”

 _Yep, aware of that_ , Kaito thought. This was so awkward. 

“I have a pet cat.”

“I… see. What’s her name?” Kaito asked.

Kudo’s eyes sharpened infinitesimally. “Her name’s Mitts.”

“That’s adorable, Kudo-san.”

“She is a vicious little guard kitten with claws like daggers,” Shi- Kudo insisted.

Kaito was very tempted to raise an eyebrow and smirk, but that was far too Kid and he didn’t want to go to jail at the hands of his very attractive crush, thanks, so he just nodded and shifted a bit awkwardly in his chair. He felt like he might be blushing, too. _Inari, kill me now,_ he silently begged.

“Cute,” Kudo said.

Kaito nearly had a heart attack. “I’m sorry, what?” he managed to say without squeaking.

“You’re really cute,” Kudo repeated, those long lashes fluttering over sapphire eyes. “Can I have your number?”

Now Kaito _knew_ he was blushing. He nodded and rattled off the digits to one of his phones that he hadn’t used to contact Kudo as Kid in the past. Kudo punched them into his phone. “We should get lunch sometime,” Kudo suggested.

“Y-yeah, sounds good,” Kaito said. Was this a date? Why didn’t he say no, this was such a bad idea. He was going to be arrested, and probably Jii and his mom with him. All because he had a crush on Shinichi. 

This was going to end so badly.

He still made the lunch plans, though.

* * *

Kuroba Chikage raised an eyebrow at her son though she doubted he noticed, as he was splayed on his back on the living room couch with an arm tossed over his face. Eleven of his various aliases’ phones were placed in a neat row along the edge of the coffee table, and she was pretty sure she could see at least two more in Kaito’s pockets. “Kai-chan, what’s wrong?”

A muffled murmur.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Kaito lifted the arm off his face and stared at her with a vague panic stirring in his eyes. “I’m going to a late lunch with Kudo Shinichi. As myself. On Tuesday. Four hours before my heist.”

Chikage stared at him for a long moment and burst out laughing as Kaito glowered at her. That was her Kai-chan. How on earth did he manage to get himself into these situations?


	3. Rule Three

**Rule Three: Don’t Steal Anything that can’t be Returned**

Four dates, two heists, and several sleepless nights later, Kaito was forced to acknowledge the facts. Well, five dates, counting the one he was currently on. 

He was dating Kid’s fiercest rival, Kudo Shinichi. And Kudo Shinichi had no idea that Kuroba Kaito was actually Kaitou Kid.

“We - we can’t keep doing this,” Kaito said abruptly.

Shinchi’s face sharpened, and his eyes narrowed. His hand in Kaito’s tightened, trapped him. The clouds above them were disarmingly white and fluffy, drifting across the crystal expanse of the sky. It was hot, but not unbearably where they had spread their picnic blanket in the shade.

“What?” Shinichi asked.

“We - I’m sorry, this isn’t working,” Kaito said.

Shinichi’s face had fallen, now. He looked bewildered. Sad.

Kaito forced himself to look away. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, and pulled his hand free. He kept his face - sad, but not distressed. The apologetic, I’m not as into you as you are into me, face. Only he couldn’t bring himself to look at Shinichi. No, Kudo. He had to go back to calling him Kudo now.

Kaito stood up, and walked away. Well, ran away.

He had a heist tomorrow, and he couldn’t keep wasting prep time to flirt with his own destruction.

* * *

Kaito sighed, forlornly.

“Did you hear that?” A task force member asked below him, and Kaito held his breath.

“What? No,” his partner replied. 

“Sh!” the first said.

Kaito made sure to keep his sigh internal, this time. Shi - Kudo would have known it was him and tried to catch him by now. 

“Oh, that time I heard it,” the first tfm said, and raised his radio. “Possible Kid sighting on the third -”

Kaito gassed them. Shoot, so it _wasn’t_ internal. Dammit, that moved his timetable up by a lot. Grabbling at the slick sides of the vent he was hidden in, waiting for his show to start, Kaito pulled himself along as quickly as possible. He grimaced as his muscles strained. Distantly, he heard Nakamori-keibu burst into the hallway to find his unconscious men, the shouting echoing nicely through the vent.

Shoot, he really needed to get it together. Just because he wasn’t going to get to see Shi - Kudo again, or hold his hand, or -

 

“Did you hear that?” someone below said suspiciously.

Shit, he could already see how this night was going to go. Sure enough, the heist was a disaster. He almost got caught half a dozen times, tripped over his own cape at one point, and almost dropped the gem down a toilet. Not to mention the assorted bruises he’d gotten from falling over his own feet, or the way Hakuba’s frowning looked _concerned_. Kaito just hoped it wasn’t showing on his face, but he had a feeling Lady Luck wasn’t going to be that kind tonight.

He saw other task force members shooting him worried looks and sighed (forlornly).

“This is so weird,” he heard someone whisper while they were looking for him in the aftermath.

“The weirdest. It’s like he’s heartbroken or something.”

So he _was_ being that obvious.

Eventually, though, the task force left. The only one left around was Hakuba, with a white handkerchief in his pocket that had long since been their symbol for temporary truce. Kaito had had the chance to check the gem through a window early on in the night, so he easily dropped down next to Hakuba and forked it over.

“Kuroba.”

“Nope.”

Hakuba sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine, Kid then. Are you okay?”

“But of course, tantei-san! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well,” Hakuba started.

“Don’t answer that,” Kaito interrupted. Hakuba raised an eyebrow. He looked far too knowing for Kaito’s tastes. “Shut up,” Kaito said.

“I haven’t said anything,” Hakuba replied. 

“You don’t have to. It’s a detective thing. That, that infuriating smirk, and the - the stupid hair and the stupid - damn - morality!”

“We’re not talking about me anymore, are we?”

Kaito scowled. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Oh,” Hakuba said. “This is about your boyfriend.”

“If I were dating someone - and I’m not saying I am - and if, theoretically, that person was male, which _I’m not saying they are_ , and theoretically, if they were a detective, that would be a _very bad idea_. But as of yesterday, hypothetically, I wouldn’t be dating anyone, because I really don’t want to get sent to jail by my own hypothetical boyfriend, who, hypothetically, would be very upset to be dating a thief who can’t even manage to find what he’s looking for!”

“Well, hypothetically, if someone wanted to get very, very drunk, they would find that I’m free,” Hakuba said softly.

Kaito met him as himself at a bar called #Heartache eight blocks over.

* * *

“Not fair,” Kuroba mumbled against Saguru’s spine.

“What’s not fair, Kuroba?”

“He’s so… so… He’s perfect! But I can’t keep him!”

“Sure you can.”

“No, I can’t. ‘S not right.”

Saguru frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I’d have t’ lie. Aaaaaalll the time. ‘S not - I don’t - ‘s not _right_.”

Ah, Saguru thought. So _that_ was the problem. “So just tell him the truth,” Saguru said.

“Nuh-uh. Don’ wanna go to jail.”

Well. That was closer to a confession than Hakuba had ever gotten before. It felt like a hollow victory. “You sure he’d turn you in? I haven’t.”

“...you’re weird, Hakuba,” Kaito said, sounding completely bewildered. “I’m so _mean_ but you just keep being nice. You just act like a -”

“ _Don’t_ ruin the moment.”

Kuroba was silent for a moment, and Saguru hopefully wondered if he’d passed out. “I think I’m drunk,” Kuroba finally said.

Saguru snorted. “You think?” he asked.

Kuroba nodded against his back. His fingers tightened on Saguru’s arms. “Hurts. I don’t _wanna_ break up.”

“Well,” a dry voice interrupted. “That’s encouraging.”

Saguru looked up and blinked. “Ah. You’d be the “perfect” one, then,” he said. He hid his grin when Kudo blushed.

“Haha,” Kudo said dryly, pulling himself to his feet and leaning against Kuroba’s doorway.

Kuroba squeaked from his spot on Saguru’s back. “What - why’s he here, I broke up with him -”

“See, the thing about stealing hearts, _Kid_ ," Kudo drawled, and Saguru felt Kuroba’s heart rate spike against his spine, “Is that you _can’t give them back_.”

* * *

Kaito’s heart was beating like a traitorous little jackhammer. Shinichi was glaring at him, which Kaito probably deserved. And, and he’d just called him Kid. And implied Kaito had stolen his heart, which couldn’t be returned.

“ _Dammit,_ ” Kaito said. “That’s all the thieves’ laws broken, then.”

It seemed like a safer topic at the moment.

Shinichi sighed. “I’ll take him, Hakuba. We’re going to have a long, long discussion after he sleeps it off. How much did he drink, anyway?”

“Too much,” Hakuba said. “I tried to moderate him, but he’s too good at sleight of hand.”

“Of course he is,” Shinichi said, and he sounded fond, why did he sound _fond_ , Kaito broke into museums and made his detectives look ridiculous every week or so. Then the world moved, and Kaito found himself leaning against Shinichi’s shoulder haphazardly. 

“‘S nice,” he mumbled. 

Shinichi sighed (fondly). “Come on, Kaito, let’s get you to bed.”

Kaito nodded, and lost track of everything as Shinichi dragged him inside.


	4. Who Cares About the Rules, Anyway?

**Who Cares About the Rules, Anyway?**

Kaito woke up with a groan. His head pounded like he’d let his doves loose to fly around his cranium, and they kept crashing into things. His mouth was less dry than expected; Hakuba must have gotten a lot of water into him, Kaito supposed. And he really, really needed to pee.

So he cracked his eyes open.

“Oh, good,” a cheery, loud voice said. “You’re awake.”

“Ungh,” Kaito said.

“No, you deserve what you get.”

“Usthrstrum.”

“Sure, you can use the restroom before we talk. We will be talking though. And don’t think you can get out of it by going through the window, either. I have guards posted outside to tell me if you try to run.”

Kaito groaned in Shinichi’s general direction and forced himself to stagger into the bathroom. “I think I’m dying,” he croaked as he washed his hands, the sound of the rushing water like a hurricane against his aching brain.

“No, but you are suffering a hangover of your own making. There’s aspirin and water on the sink.”

Sure enough, a tall glass and a couple pills rested there. Kaito swallowed the pills, gulping the water down. He felt marginally better afterwards, and drank another glass of water from the sink before setting it down with a sigh. Then he turned on the shower and hopped inside. After a long, hot shower, he felt infinitely better. Well enough to consider trying to escape through the window. Pulling on miraculously appearing clean pants, he pulled the window open and stuck his head out.

He was promptly met with a water balloon to the face, and pulled back with a yelp.

“I warned you,” Shinichi said from the bathroom doorway, and proceeded to grab him by the arm and drag him away.

Kaito followed a little dazedly. Shinichi pushed him to sit in the middle of the couch in Kaito’s living room.

Kaito held his wrists out mutely.

Shinichi’s face softened, just a little. “Idiot,” he growled. “I’m not arresting you!”

Kaito blinked at him. “...but I’m a thief,” he said.

“Yep, and I am a _homicide_ detective,” Shinichi said. “Plus, I think it’s fair to say I’ve stolen your heart as thoroughly as you’ve stolen mine.”

Kaito gaped at him, then sighed. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll be disappeared by tomorrow morning.”

“What? Why?”

“I broke thieves’ law,” Kaito mumbled, slumping back against the couch. “That means it’s open season.”

Shinichi frowned at him, and Kaito could practically see his brain whirring. “What’s this law you’re on about?”

“Rule one,” Kaito said, “don’t get caught. Rule two, don’t talk. Rule three, don’t steal anything that can’t be returned.”

Shinichi frowned, thinking, clearly trying to find a way out of it.

“Kai-chan,” a deadly, female voice interrupted from the doorway. “What did I just overhear?”

Kaito went pale, meeped, and dived over the back of the couch just in time to dodge a rather lethal-looking playing card aimed at his face. “M-mom!” he yelped. “I can explain!”

“Oi-” Shinichi said startled. Chikage jumped up, bounced off the ceiling, and dove at her son. “OI!” he yelled, and pulled Kaito out of the way. Chikage knocked him aside and grabbed her son.

And… hugged him?

“My Kai-chan, you’re all grown up! Oh, wait until I tell the others. Chat-Noir has been waiting for an excuse to better your lock-picking, it’s just not up to her speed yet! And, oooh, I bet we can get Lupin to teach you all the latest tricks with blanks and false bullets! Not to mention Kaitou Dark, he’s been looking for someone to teach a bit about proper magic and the Artworks...”

Kaito whimpered as Chikage ran off, plotting.

Shinichi pulled him to his feet, staring after the woman. “Sounds like it’s going to be a long summer,” he said.

Kaito nodded and looked at his feet. “I…”

Shinichi’s feet shifted. “So,” he said, “I hear tell that I’m perfect.”

Kaito winced. “Er, yeah. You are. To me. I think.”

“Well, that works out nicely, since you’re pretty perfect, too.”

Kaito blinked at looked up, and found himself being thoroughly kissed. His knees melted, and he sighed (lovingly) into Shinichi’s mouth.

* * *

Kaito stepped off the plane with a sigh of relief.

“ _Bonjour,_ ” he heard from the left. “ _Mon cœur a désiré retourner à tes bras._ ”

Kaito turned bright red. “Shinichi!”

The detective smiled brightly at him. “Welcome home, Kaito.”

Kaito grinned at him. “I’m home, Shinichi.”

Shinichi hummed. “You know,” he said, “I moved out of the mansion while you were gone.”

“Oh?” Kaito said, a little confused.

Shinichi nodded. “Yeah. Got an apartment. It’s got a bedroom, a bathroom, a massive kitchen I never use…”

Kaito raised an eyebrow. “Good, otherwise you’d burn the place down.”

Shinichi ignored him and said, “...and it’s a little big for one.”

Kaito’s jaw dropped. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“And if I am?”

“Depends. Do you like birds?”

“Not really, but since your doves are all trained not to make messes inside, I suppose I can make a few exceptions.”

“Well then,” Kaito said, looking Shinichi in the eye. When had he gotten so close? “I suppose I’d better pack my bags.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> “ _Bonjour. Mon cœur a désiré retourner à tes bras._ ”  
> "Hello. My heart has longed to return to your arms."

**Author's Note:**

> To Rachello344, who regularly fills my need for Kaishin rather beautifully. Also, thanks for putting up with me flooding your inbox with prompts every time they're open. You rock! :)
> 
> ~Era Penn


End file.
